Name Your Emotions: Power of Self-Reflection and Emotional Clarity

People have distinct relationships with their emotions. For some, emotions may be clear and easy to understand; they know how they feel and how to respond to an array of emotions without harming themselves or others. In contrast, some have trouble understanding and living with their emotions. To them, emotions are confusing, scary, and too painful to face and handle.  Our own unique ways of relating to emotions are shaped by both our innate tendencies^1–4 and life experiences.^5,6 For instance, some babies are more sensitive to external stimuli and cry more easily and for longer, and such early traits may relate to experiencing more intense emotions later in life.^1–4 But no babies are born with skills to know and cope with their emotions; rather, they learn how to manage their emotions from their environment, such as how their emotions are treated by their caregivers or how adults around them handle their own emotions.^5,6 

Even for a psychologist who studies emotions for a living, my internal world is not always clear or easy to understand. There are days when emotions feel like a rock on my stomach or a heavy blanket over my head. If someone asked what was wrong, I may have answered “Nothing” or “I am just tired” or some variation of that. If I let this go on too long, my mood and behavior will be affected by the undercurrent of the unnamed emotions, and those around me and I will suffer the consequences. So, I would have to slow down and investigate what is happening within. And when I dig deeper and eventually name what I feel, for instance “I am feeling a little scared” or  “What happened yesterday made me feel small”, the weight of the blanket lightens and I can see more clearly. Sometimes, there may not be much I can do to change how I feel, but I can at least hold space for my emotions. This act of labeling and therefore acknowledging emotions allows me to co-exist more peacefully with both the joys and the pains of emotional experience, without turning them into suffering.

What does science say?

Numerous research studies have documented potential benefits of naming emotions—"affect labeling”—for regulating unpleasant feelings and enhancing our mental health.^7,8 One may wonder how merely naming our emotions would help us feel better. While we are not deliberately trying to change how we feel when naming emotions, this simple act of verbalizing our feelings is associated with reduced distress^7–10 and increased brain activities involved in emotion regulation.^7,8,11 In simpler terms, naming what we feel seems to quiet the part of the brain that reacts and activate the part that regulates. Of course, more research is needed to better understand how affect labeling works, including in what situations it would be most effective and what resources would help us improve our ability to name emotions. Nevertheless, current scientific and clinical insight suggest that when emotions are vague and unacknowledged, they can feel more overwhelming and harder to regulate. Identifying our emotions may be an important step toward gaining clarity about our internal world and forming a healthier relationship with ourselves and others.

What does it mean for you?

So, what do you do if you find emotions challenging to understand and live with? First, know that you are not alone. Many people struggle with their emotions. Second, while certain aspects of our emotional experience may be innate,^1–4 much of how you manage your emotions is learned. This means you can relearn it, too. Naming and managing your emotions is a skill that you can learn and practice. You can start by slowing down when something feels off, and asking yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Where in my body do I notice it?

• What thoughts am I having?

It is okay even if you don’t find any answer or relief right away. It takes time and practice. For those with a complex history, such as trauma and adverse childhood experiences, naming emotions can feel especially challenging, and sometimes even unsafe. If you feel this way, please consider seeking the support of a licensed mental health professional.  

Warmly,

Dr. Y

References

1.          MacNeill LA, Pérez‐Edgar K. Temperament and Emotion. In: The Encyclopedia of Child and Adolescent Development. Wiley; 2020:1-12. doi:10.1002/9781119171492.wecad180

2.          Sayal K, Heron J, Maughan B, Rowe R, Ramchandani P. Infant temperament and childhood psychiatric disorder: Longitudinal study. Child Care Health Dev. 2014;40(2):292-297. doi:10.1111/cch.12054

3.          Guerin  Diana Wright, Gottfried  Allen W, Thomas  Craig W. Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5                to 12 Years. Int J Behav Dev. 1997;21(1):71-90. doi:10.1080/016502597384992

4.          Cook F, Giallo R, Hiscock H, Mensah F, Sanchez K, Reilly S. Infant regulation and child mental health concerns: A longitudinal study. Pediatrics. 2019;143(3). doi:10.1542/peds.2018-0977

5.          Kim SG, Weissman DG, Sheridan MA, McLaughlin KA. Child abuse and automatic emotion regulation in children and adolescents. Dev Psychopathol. 2023;35(1):157-167. doi:10.1017/S0954579421000663

6.          Bariola E, Gullone E, Hughes EK. Child and Adolescent Emotion Regulation: The Role of Parental Emotion Regulation and Expression. Clin Child Fam Psychol Rev. 2011;14(2):198-212. doi:10.1007/s10567-011-0092-5

7.          Torre JB, Lieberman MD. Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling as Implicit Emotion Regulation. Emotion Review.SAGE Publications Ltd. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706

8.          Burklund LJ, David Creswell J, Irwin MR, Lieberman MD. The common and distinct neural bases of affect labeling and reappraisal in healthy adults. Front Psychol. 2014;5(MAR). doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00221

9.          Payer DE, Baicy K, Lieberman MD, London ED. Overlapping neural substrates between intentional and incidental down-regulation of negative emotions. Emotion. 2012;12(2):229.

10.       Tabibnia G, Lieberman MD, Craske MG. The lasting effect of words on feelings: words may facilitate exposure effects to threatening images. Emotion. 2008;8(3):307.

11.       Burklund LJ, Davies CD, Niles A, et al. Affect labeling: a promising new neuroscience-based approach to treating combat-related PTSD in veterans. Front Psychol. 2024;15. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1270424